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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012803">broken telephone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichweissnichtauch/pseuds/ichweissnichtauch'>ichweissnichtauch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>roadmaps [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Grocery Shopping, M/M, Multi, but misunderstandings are afoot, in which oisuga try to be Good Dads to one, increasingly confused kageyama tobio, it is literally the DUMBEST of premises, no but that's it that's literally the fic i'm sorry, the working title for this fic is literally 'brainrot :)'</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:54:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichweissnichtauch/pseuds/ichweissnichtauch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>He tugs Koushi back up the aisle, where Kageyama is still frowning, a loaf of walnut bread in his hands.</p>
  <p>“Tobio-chan,” Tooru trills, with the false cheer of a man who has no idea what to do with a small child. Or, in this case, Kageyama Tobio. Potato, po-tah-to, Koushi thinks.</p>
  <p>“Did you know,” he barrels on, “that Koushi and I are boyfriends.”</p>
</blockquote><i>or</i>, Sugawara Koushi does not need another crisis at the grocery store today, thank you very much.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>roadmaps [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976386</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>230</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>broken telephone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so i was procrastinating writing the actual sequel to long is the road and i was like. yknow what. koushi is busy with uni and tooru is literally in argentina when atskghn get together. yknow what would be funny. if they dont realise that atskghn is a Thing yet when they see tobio/shoyou interact with atsumu and BAM this raccoon trash child fic of mine was born. bone apple tea.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Koushi is <em> fine </em> . Koushi is very fine. There’s a hand in the pocket of his jeans belonging to a setter who’s been featured on not one, not two, but <em> five </em> sports magazines, right there in the middle of grocery aisle number 2, and Koushi is <em> not </em> having what Daichi would call a “gay crisis”. He's long past that point.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>So maybe Koushi is maybe having a crisis of a different kind, but, he thinks, most everyone would be entitled to a crisis in the grocery store when their boyfriend of <em> one whole year </em> is bringing them home for Christmas. To meet his parents. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh, my god,” Tooru breathes.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Oh, my god, indeed.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> “What the fuck is Miya Atsumu doing in a grocery store in Miyagi.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>What the fuck is— Koushi follows his line of sight, and does a double take. Sure enough, there’s a distinctly bleached blond head of hair at the yoghurt drinks. Koushi doubts there’s that many people in Japan who dye their hair that violent shade of yellow <em> and </em> also possess a worn Inarizaki Volleyball jacket.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He turns, and Koushi clutches at Tooru’s arm before dragging him behind a shelf.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Did you see—” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Was that—”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“<em>Why is the Inarizaki court captain wearing one of </em> our <em> sweaters</em>,” Koushi hisses. <em> Our</em>, in this case, being one Karasuno Volleyball Club, because Koushi is certain he just saw, with his own two eyes, the black kanji characters embroidered on the same team-issued cream sweater that Koushi currently has in his closet, on a vaguely familiar sweater underneath Miya Atsumu’s jacket.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tooru’s eyebrows do a very impressive wiggle. “<em>You’re the Karasuno alum</em>,” he hisses back, “ <em> I— </em> ” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“‘Tsumu!”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There’s a yell, and Koushi peeks around the corner just in time to see one Hinata Shoyou jump-tackle Miya Atsumu in what seems to be a hug.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Koushi turns to Tooru. Tooru stares at Koushi. Koushi stares back. At least they’re <em> both </em>as confused.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Hang on.” The corner of Tooru’s mouth is turning down, in the way it does when he’s about to start going off about partially important things, like that time the sole Japanese konbini-style shop in San Juan ran out of milk bread. “Isn’t Shrimpy dating Tobio?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Koushi stares some more at Tooru. Tooru stares back.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh shit,” they say, at the same time. Koushi considers ringing Daichi on speed-dial.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Someone clears their throat behind them. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>(Later, Tooru will deny vehemently that he yelps at that, but Koushi is certain that’s a yelp. Maybe a shriek.)</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You’re blocking the walnut bread,” Kageyama Tobio tells them, very bluntly.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tooru turns panicked eyes at Koushi. Koushi is maybe screaming. Internally, of course. Dear God, and also maybe Jesus, he thinks, a little hysterically, please, I literally do not need another crisis today.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> WHAT DO WE DO</em>, Tooru’s deer-in-the-headlights look seems to scream.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Um,” Koushi says, not very smartly. He turns back to Kageyama, who seems to be frowning at— Koushi’s hand, which is still clutching at Tooru’s coat. Which, huh. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“One moment, please,” he tells Kageyama, whose frown is starting to deepen. The kid will probably get wrinkles by the time he’s thirty. Koushi makes a mental note to talk to him about that, before he yanks Tooru down the aisle. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“So, uh,” Koushi says. “I may have forgotten to tell some people. About us.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tooru’s eyebrows do an even more complicated wiggle.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh my god, Koushi,” he says, after about an eternity. “You’re a genius.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He tugs Koushi back up the aisle, where Kageyama is still frowning, a loaf of walnut bread in his hands.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Tobio-<em>chan</em>,” Tooru trills, with the false cheer of a man who has no idea what to do with a small child. Or, in this case, Kageyama Tobio. Potato, po-tah-to, Koushi thinks.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Did you know,” he barrels on, “that Koushi and I are <em> boyfriends</em>.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Kageyama’s frown, impossibly, deepens. He turns to Koushi.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Koushi smiles encouragingly at him.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“What,” asks Kageyama, “is going on.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tooru slings an arm around Koushi’s shoulder. "<em>Boy-friends</em>,” he repeats, slower now.  “Like, when a boy like-likes a boy in a way that is not just <em> bros</em>." Koushi is simultaneously very much endeared, and also wants to crawl into a hole and die.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Kageyama casts him an alarmed look. “I don’t think this is a very funny joke, Suga-san.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Uh, no,” Koushi says, very eloquently, “we’re not— joking. We really are. Together.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Uh-huh.” Kageyama does not look visibly convinced. “I thought you liked girls,” he tells Tooru.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tooru heaves a long suffering sigh. “The B in LGBT isn’t silent, Tobio-chan.” (Koushi is one hundred percent sure that he is, word for word, quoting a pamphlet that Iwaizumi Hajime had sent him as an April Fool’s joke.)</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There’s a little crinkle in Kageyama’s forehead. “I’m going to—” he waves his hands in some aborted gesture, and starts heading <em> for the yoghurt section</em>. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“NO,” Koushi shrieks, and makes to snag the back of Kageyama’s hoodie— just as Hinata and Miya Atsumu round the corner, and come face to face with Kageyama.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Holding hands.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Koushi is halfway through speed-dialing Daichi when Kageyama is, inexplicably, dropping the walnut bread into the basket that Miya Atsumu is holding in his free hand. “Did you know,” he turns to Hinata, deadpan, “that Suga-san and Oikawa-san are apparently boyfriends.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The three of them peer back at Koushi. And Tooru, who gives an awkward wave.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Hinata’s smile freezes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>They stand there like that, in the middle of grocery aisle 2, <em>breads and jams</em>, Koushi and Tooru looking haplessly at Kageyama, and Hinata and Miya Atsumu, who are still <em>holding hands</em> <em>in front of Hinata’s boyfriend of two years and counting</em>.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s Miya Atsumu who breaks the dead silence first. “Tobio, babe,” he says, “don’t be fucking homophobic.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Kageyama gives him a dead-eyed stare.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Oh no.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Koushi clicks <em> call </em> on his phone. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Come on, Daichi, he thinks, a little desperately. Pick up before Karasuno gets disqualified from Spring High because Kageyama hit Miya Atsumu in the face in a fucking grocery store.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Jackass,” Kageyama huffs, “I can’t believe you.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Anytime now, Dai-</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“How the hell can I be homophobic when I have two boyfriends.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“What the <em> fuck</em>,” Tooru all but yells.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The call clicks.</p><p><br/><br/>“<em>Hello? </em>” comes Daichi’s mildly concerned voice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>- [yes im using the timeline from stan twt verse like. this is set a year after long is the road, which makes it three years after canon, which makes it two years before stan twitter, which means this is around the time when atskghn get together. *tosses my texas calculator into the trash*]</p><p>- ah, daichi. the reason why his dad senses weren't tingling was only because he was the deliverer of one very awkward Talk about Dating Your Rivals: How To Manage a Healthy Relationship While Maintaining Absolute Neutrality On The Court (And How To Not Trip Over Your Shoes When Your Very Attractive Significant Other Is Doing A Very Attractive Serve/Toss/Spike/Pass/etc.).<br/>- well. it was awkward for kghn. kuroo may have added like, shitty Office 2012 animation effects and egged his boyfriend on, but daichi was the one who made like, 90% of the 49-slide .pptx so. yeah.</p><p>- also koushi forgot to tell most of karasuno except for the third years because he just. 'i was so caught up in the euphoria of dating a nice boy that for a moment i forgot that i lived in a world in which nice boy was, once upon a time, not so nice to my junior who the rest of my juniors would (grudgingly) fight for'.jpeg. and then he procrastinated so much he forgot about it.</p><p>- tooru is understandably chill with this because he gets that A. he was an Ass to tobio, and B. he really doesn't want to get knifed by the karasuno kids because Oh God What If He's Not Good Enough For The Absolute Angel That Is Sugawara Koushi Oh Yeah He's 100% Getting Knifed So Yeah, He Was Definitely Not Reminding Koushi About It Any Time Soon</p><p>- um anyways yeah. here's a cookie [  ] if you made it this far thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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